I stopped going on. I just couldn't anymore. I literally could feel it in my spirit God saying, "stay off." I viewed it as a ministry. Most people who knew me outside of the social media world knew that. Most weeks it was rare if I was on it every day.
It wasn't an addiction for me, but yet God was still saying, "get off of it." So I did. It's been wonderful without it. Peaceful.
I have struggled with the social media world since I first learned of it in 2006. Drawing attention to myself felt very uncomfortable. That feeling never left.
I felt like I wasn't being used by God enough. My desire to share Jesus was so strong that I thought my best option was through social media, but God has been showing me otherwise. That world isn’t for me right now. I am far too personal.
I don’t know if I’ll return. When you let God lead, those are unknowns. I just know that I have to be off of it for the foreseeable future. I have many reasons for that.
I'm not saying that "evil" is winning, but I can tell you that I believe there is very little "good" on social media. I'm grateful for those organizations and individuals that are still taking a stand on these platforms even though they are being viciously and unapologetically snuffed out one by one.
I have a REAL issue and concern with the fact that the billionaires are in control of what is “truth” and “factual.” That's EXTREMELY dangerous. I smell end times.
The division that I see, hear about, and have experienced on social media truly breaks my heart. Friends and families are fighting, cutting people out over a post or comment. That's utter insanity. What a work of the enemy! I want no part of it.
I see such desperation for love and acceptance on there. I can hardly take it. I want to tell people how loved they are by Jesus, but I would be on there all day and still not be able to reach them! I can't do that.
I believe face to face interaction, where you can see someone’s expressions, hear their tone of voice, rest your hand on their shoulder and look them in the eye is where change happens most. It’s no wonder depression is so high in this country! People have detached themselves from even making a phone call these days. It breaks my heart.
Most importantly, when my days are consumed by three little boys who rarely stop moving, talking, or eating, I just can't exert any more energy towards being a part of the virtual worlds of "Facebook," "Instagram" or “Twitter." Many will argue that it has its place, and I won’t disagree with them, but right now, it won't have a place in my life.
So how do I reconcile the fact that I love to document, write and sing, but don’t think I should be putting it on Facebook or Instagram? At this point, I believe God is directing my focus to my website. I'll share things on my blog as he prompts.
Honestly, I am currently praying about whether I should even share publicly some of what I write. I recognize that it’s often deep. I told my husband recently that I need him to help me get out of my own head sometimes because it can put me in a downward spiral. God made me this way for a reason and he has a purpose for it.
Is part of God's purpose this website? I don’t know. All I know is that God is doing a work in me. There’s been a shift. I am on a journey with my Jesus; the reason for why I live, trying to figure out all the ways in which he wants to use me. He knows my hearts desire to make much of him and I believe that he will be faithful to carry it out to completion, but it will be in HIS timing and in HIS perfect way.